It was painted by one Jacques Logan, a surrealist. It was bought by Nathan Abelton because his antique dealer friend said Jacques was, "going places." It turned out Jacques was "going" to the penitentiary, on charges of excessive drug use, and being altogether much too silly. Mrs. Abelton thought the piece was horrid, and made Mr. Abelton put it in storage. Around 3500 years later, archaeologists found the piece. It ultimately concreted their view of him as the half-reptilian warrior president, bred though eugenics and discipline by cherry tree lumberjacks to emancipate mankind from the confederates. They honor his victory with a festival every third Monday of February.