He was transformed into an albino squid monster by uranium glazed dinnerware. Naturally, he's depressed about it. He spends most of his time trying to find pants that fit him on the Internet. He won't go to a tailor because that might be embarrassing, so he usually just buys long socks. When he goes to the lobby to get his delivered groceries, he has a tendency to scare children. In an effort to combat this, he bought a toupee. Adults simply think they have had too much to drink - they see a a white thing with hair, and think "Was that a guy in a hula skirt?" Kids, for some reason, see through his ruse.